Guy was balancing two options in Cannes this morning: Take in the press screening of Rob Marshall’s “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” or catch up on some much-needed rest. Given that I had already suffered the experience, I suggested he spare himself the 130-odd minutes of anguish and, I don’t know, lie in a park and eat a baguette or something.
Truly, this film is the embarrassing, excruciating fourth installment of a franchise that bottomed out somewhere in the middle of the second. I wanted it to end the minute it started, and knowing there were over two hours to come, it was a trying, trying experience. The only thing that kept my attention was the placement of Penélope Cruz’s crucifix necklace.
But no one is pretending this is anything beyond a paycheck for talent and a conservative money-grabbing maneuver on the studio’s part. I guess you can’t blame them. Opening weekend will be huge. Nevertheless, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to stand in the streets and scream, beg for consumers not to spend their money on a film so badly. Hopefully the final receipts will fall short of the marks reached by the other entries.

It’s one of those things when you show a film early and hold everyone to an embargo for a number of weeks. I imagine there are people like me who run out of the passion and desire to write about some films, and over the last few weeks,
It seems I’m one of the few people who isn’t particularly bothered by the admittedly surprising prospect of Rob Marshall directing the fourth go-round of “Pirates of the Caribbean.”
What is beautiful/sexy anyway these days? Is classic back in? Does bombshell still register? Who knows, but for me, very much so lately, actress Marion Cotillard seems to be a certain embodiment.
Writing in the weekend’s
Ugh, they had to
I 