How badly do you want to own the shooting scripts of four of this year’s hottest Oscar contenders? Well, HOW BADLY?
We’ve got copies of “Black Swan,” “Inception,” “127 Hours” and “Toy Story 3” to give away this week. I should have saved that “tell me a story” thing for this, so instead, to riff on the Haiku contest, I thought I’d just be completely ridiculous and introduce a — wait for it — LIMERICK CONTEST!
That’s right, a limerick contest. In case you’re unaware of the qualities of a limerick, refresh yourself here. In a nutshell, though, five lines with an aabba rhyme scheme. For example:
There once was a guy with a blog
Who felt it a daily slog
But oh what fun
To almost be done
With a season that’s become a fog
Got it? Great. Now, for these, much like with the story contest, you have to include story elements from each of the four films above. But it doesn’t have to be specific characters, just situations and things like that, Have fun with the flavor. Remember who won the story contest, after all.
Now…go!
Comments
126 responses to “CONTEST: Screenplay giveaway!”
While mending a music box broken,
The hiking toys shouldn’t have spoken.
With one double take,
They plunged to the lake,
And realized they had awoken.
There was a dancer who knew
That dreams don’t always come true
But then she got stuck
And lost keeping track
Of how mayny dreams she got through
Through the darkness, towards her reflection,
Like children’s toys, she fears rejection.
Her dream will arrive
As she fights to survive,
Just enough, just enough, for perfection.
In this hellish daycare that I’m in
Ceaselessly my fears dance within
An armless man and irate swan
Appear to devour my soul and move on
Suddenly I hear, “Non, rien de rien”
Is King’s Speech still within reach?
To critics I beg and beseech
help it win
It won’t be a sin
I want some fuckin’ King’s Speech
Stuck in a desecrated city
Trapped from humanity
A boy’s fingers dance on his toy
With no sense of joy
Alone his top spins in pity
There once was a toy doll named Nina
Who thought she was a ballerina
But when off came her arm
She found out, to her alarm
None of it was true. Oh what a dreama’
“I just want to be perfect,” she said.
Aron didn’t want to be found dead.
Cobb saw two people in need,
So he hopped on Bullseye, his noble steed.
Alas!- It was all in his head.
Two ballerinas got drunk and got down
Somehow a desert hiker might drown
The psycho bear laughed
And Cobb got the shaft
Now who’s the most crazy in town?
I invaded your dreams last night
Now you’re passing out toys left and right
If I’ve worked all my charms
You’ll cut off both your arms
Sprout some feathers and then take flight.
There once was a girl without esteem
Who became trapped and attempted to scream
But she could only respond:
“To infinity and beyond!”
And remain captive to her dream within a dream
Black Swan (only) – for fun, not the contest
My mother has been rather bitchy
And these feathers are making me itchy
Maybe I’ll drop some Ex
Have some lesbian sex
Paint my face and start acting all twitchy.
A ballerina used to love to dream
Of a spinning top and toys most supreme
But drinking too much mead
When she suddenly peed
She woke up with a frightening scream
I really can’t do any better than N8 and/or SanFran Cinema – excellent work from both!
There was a movie about facebook
All of the major awards, it took
Can it win the big one?
Or go home with none?
Oh silly, Best Pic it is, just look!
Lily went down on Nina, or so we thought.
Who knows if it was real but it was very hot.
Leo managed to stay alive and get back to his kids.
James Franco cuts his arm off and now he lives.
And Andy gives his toys away, the entire lot!
There once was a man named Cobb
Who was offered an unusual job
Not to go in the mind to rob
Quite the opposite instead
He was to plant an idea in the head
Natalie just keeps on spinning
While Leo says the dream is collapsing
James Franco gets trapped under rocks
and the toys just want to get back to their box
But facebook movie just keeps on winning.
out of competition, I guess, since in italian:
Il mio braccio è incastrato proprio qua!
Sembra un incubo assurdo, ma è la realtà..
Buzz! Woody! Ken! Voialtri di Toy Story!
Fate qualcosa, ma tiratemi fuori!
…chiamate Natalie, lei mi aiuterà.
(loosely translated:
My arm is stuck right here
It looks like an absurd nightmare, but it’s true!
Buzz! Woody! Ken! You, Toy Story guys!
Do something, but set me free!
…call Natalie, she will set me free)
Entering a dream, I set the alarm
Could I win against her skills and her charm?
The toys would go first
Battling pain, fear and thirst
There goes my mind, my youth and even my arm.
Somewhere deep inside of my brain
A purple bear walks with a cane.
There Nina’s a swan
And Aron’s arm’s gone –
Do I dream or am I insane?
Well, I tried…
2010 had many a flick,
But when you wake from the dream with a kick –
You find Portman is pregs
And Ralston still has two legs
But Buzz and Woody are still just a pic.
Buzz Lightyear just learned to speak Spanish
Cobb’s wife in a dreamworld did vanish
Aron Ralston got stuck
Thanks to a bit of bad luck
But it’s Nina’s mother whom I’d love to banish.
Dance, my Spinning Top Ballerina!
Increase that tin soldier stamina!
Make grow on him
a brand-new limb…
…never in your wildest dreams, Nina!
We’re all afraid of rejection;
you just need to sidestep detection.
I can’t say there’s no harm
you might cut off your arm,
but with good luck you might find perfection.
To Ken’s house, Barbie needs the direction
Aron, her guide, needs connection
Well, dream level three
Lasts an eternity
But at least there they achieved perfection
The dream – is it real? I don’t know.
I have wings? How surreal. Wow, they grow!
Now this bear wants a hug
“What a dream”, I just shrug
Cut my arm to wake up? Here goes!
What do you feel, she asked me
Guilt, I replied, for you see
I just started to dance
Cut my arm off by chance
And lost my clown, bear and baby
The Swan Queen does herself great harm.
And Woody and Buzz bring on the charm.
But what I really want to know
Is what the hell happened in the Inception show.
For that, I’d gladly cut off my arm.
James Franco can surely now direct
Bloody scenes like Natalie’s C-sect
He could voice Spanish Buzz
And defeat projection thugs
While besting Anne with his own interjects
Stop by my Malibu dream house tonight
And show me some more of that bite
We can smoke some “scooby” doobie
Act all NC-17 like that Gosling movie
Weinstein “Inceptioned’ MPAA and all is right!
He tried to give away his team
But nothing was as it had seemed
He chopped off his arm
It caused him no harm
Because it was all a dream.
Tchaikovsky’s ballet was forthcoming,
While in Utah, his arm had been numbing,
He thought, as one does,
Of his Woody and Buzz,
And said, “to a dream I’m succumbing!”
Still almost two months left
Social Network may win, but yet
I feel about four
Pounding it’s door
Perhaps a race we will get
whoops…did that about the race. Here we go
Andy would soon be gone
But not quite the same as the swan
She may have been dreaming
Ignored Aron’s screaming
Does Adriadne have her pawn?
‘Toy soldier’ is what she calls me
So I dream to escape reality
I soar through this place
With a wicked swan face
And crash down with a wing misery
I wonder what would’ve been
If Mal appeared in Nina’s dream
Cobb would’ve teamed with Ralston
And used Woody to make Inception
Now there’s a movie I’ve never seen
I like #79
The reflection behind me turns late
as I’m pulled through the dreams to face fate
amputating toys strings
caged birds never sing
a sense of self I struggle to create
OUT OF COMPETITION
There once was a man from NC
Who top-tenned “Toy Story 3”
“Black Swan” was #2
No “Inception”? Boo hoo!
Danny Boyle was no match for Banksy
Wow, do I have a horrible memory. “Black Swan” was #5. This replacement should do.
“Black Swan” was #5
No “Inception”? Man alive!
127 just made me too anxious,
Inception? That nonsense lacks frankness,
And I’m too old for toys,
I’m a man, not a boy,
So I’ll watch Mila get some cunnilingus.
The toys must adjust to their new life.
Cobb’s subconscious invaded by his dead wife.
Nina’s heart starts to ache
As she dances Swan Lake
And Aaron leaves home his sharp knife.
The spinning top of a winged pirouette
Finds aid in the makeshift tourniquet
But we lose the truth
Of forgotten youth
When the toys begin to fret
Good stuff John G.
Nina was a girl with a dream
Lily wanted to crush her, it would seem
But sadly, it must be said,
It was all in her head
And so the Black Swan reigned supreme.
Ballet? I could give it a whack.
Although I’m more white swan than black.
I’ll spin and I’ll dance
With dreamlike romance
My Woody tucked deep in my crack.
Confused since the very beginning,
I think I have no hope of winning.
It danced in the crack,
And wobbled, then black?
The toy…Did it EVER stop spinning?
All boys, they forget toys and candy,
When lesbian scenes make ’em randy.
The girls of their dreams
Twist arms off, it seems.
“I’ve got a NEW Woody,” said Andy.
I danced ’til I had nothing left.
My dreams are not subject to theft.
I showed them my poise,
Like music-box toys…
Then, whoops! I fell down in a cleft.
I ventured deep into your head,
To make an idea embed.
The toys in your attic
Just danced so erratic,
I fell in a crevice instead.
This is my best work. I hope you enjoy it:
Nina’s fears were just an illusion
But they led to a bloody conclusion
She toyed with her life
Like Aaron when he climbed
Did it all start with Cobb’s intrusion?