How badly do you want to own the shooting scripts of four of this year’s hottest Oscar contenders? Well, HOW BADLY?
We’ve got copies of “Black Swan,” “Inception,” “127 Hours” and “Toy Story 3” to give away this week. I should have saved that “tell me a story” thing for this, so instead, to riff on the Haiku contest, I thought I’d just be completely ridiculous and introduce a — wait for it — LIMERICK CONTEST!
That’s right, a limerick contest. In case you’re unaware of the qualities of a limerick, refresh yourself here. In a nutshell, though, five lines with an aabba rhyme scheme. For example:
There once was a guy with a blog
Who felt it a daily slog
But oh what fun
To almost be done
With a season that’s become a fog
Got it? Great. Now, for these, much like with the story contest, you have to include story elements from each of the four films above. But it doesn’t have to be specific characters, just situations and things like that, Have fun with the flavor. Remember who won the story contest, after all.
Now…go!
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126 responses to “CONTEST: Screenplay giveaway!”
There once was a queen of the swans
Whose sanity was almost gone
She fell into a dream
And her arm made her scream
But was saved from the fire by dawn
Caught between a rock and a hard place
Was a swan with a black face
The toys are in line
for a really good time
When the dream kicks we’re up for Oscar’s chase
The girl who dances for days
has toys with which she never plays
so lost in a dream
of a desert serene
she’s trapped there and that’s why she stays
Stuck in a dreamy world unknown
Or a box of toys whose owner has grown
And the time we spent
With Nina as she bent
Oh, if only Aron had the Verizon IPhone
There once was a strange ballerina,
Who heard Piaf on her concertina,
She gave up all her toys,
And started hanging with boys.
She’d cut her arm off to meet Angelina!
There was once a man who was stuck
and a ballerina with mommy’s bad luck
some will remind us of youth
though cobb seems like a sleuth
They all can make us go “yuck”
There was once was Swan Queen named Nina
Who dreamed she dreamed she was thinner
But the weight she had lost
Was the arm she’d sawed off
With the help of a toy ballerina.
Poor Nina just could not stop scratching
Her mind and her talent were not matching
She was no-holds-barred
But her shoulder was scarred
And so her swan wings ended hatching
Do I have to wake up?
And must I grow up?
Or can I dance on and on
Like lifes only begun?
Help me get unstuck!
Still inside her trance
At her mother she takes a glance
After so many years
Despite the tears
This is her final dance
There once was a toy doll named Nina…
To college went her owner – see ‘ya!
She got trapped by a rock
Hey, “did you suck his cock?!”
‘Til she found out it all was a dream – wha…?
Much like a Swan of the lighter variety
Toy Story looked good but lacked in real quality
And only through dreaming
After hours of screaming
I’m cured and back to society
I stayed awake for many long hours
Trying to rid of invader of my
What
Ignore the last three line. Didn’t realize they were there when I clicked “Submit”.
There once was a book with a face
and a King that couldn’t find his place
but the dream within a dream
and the amputation was the cream
on top of a wild Oscar race
Aron was haningout for 5 days
Arainde built quite a maze
Nina became the black swan
The toys got out before dawn
Is that good enough for 4 screenplays?
Woody’s friends trapped in Sunnyside
Ralston’s arm caught by foolish pride
Nina’s mind lost in a whirlwind of dance
Cobb’s guilt ensnared by lost romance
All less painful than The Blind Side
Nina, she dances with grace,
but still lacks a seductive pace.
So to play the Black Swan
her mind must be gone,
as a mirror makes this dancer an ace.
Oh hell… all 4 in ONE limerick… damn.
In the history of all animation
There had not been a film less worthy of a nomination
If only it was ignored
Like that other film that made people concerned
Instead of getting all the attention!
The dream is dark and unbroken
In white waters the swan became darkened
Endless hours unknown
Unawake in this dome
The puppet lies dead but is frightened
Toy Story three
How much do I dislike thee?
Let me count the stars
And measure the scars
And come back to you after eternity?
There was once a Toy Swan named Maxime
One day she got her plastic wing caught in a seam
As she screamed for help
Nobody heard her yelp
But she woke up and realized it was all a dream
It’s been years since I lost my dear Aron
Yet I sit at my mirror to stare in
With a kick my gaze breaks
An Etch-A-Sketch, my mind shakes
Like a canyon, my daydreams, now barren
To reach out OR be stuck in a hole?
To be perfect OR stuck in control?
To live OR to sleep?
To give OR to keep?
Decisions all made by the soul.
When Queen Amidala got low
With that girl from That 70s Show
What a sexified scene
From a frat brother’s dream
Just listen for the nation-wide ‘Whoa!’
brokeback for girls
dreamy dream worlds
surviving alone
moving out on your own
my how drama unfurls
There was was a girl named Nina.
She loved being a Ballerina.
When she started to go nuts,
She got lots of cuts.
And started to resemble a Hyena.
Nina simply wants to be whole
Yet this dream is starting to take its toll
Afraid to move on and grow old
Yet the reward will be oscar gold
Stay here forever or sacrifice her soul
Buzz and Woody are trapped at the daycare
While Lotso is threatening an arm tear
Perhaps it is all just a dream
However, none of this has been foreseen
Beware!
AND/OR
Is this a dream or real life?
He cut off his arm with a knife!
Lotso tries a convincing tactic.
These movies are quite dramatic.
Even Nina encounters some strife!
Boyle filled viewers with dread,
Aronofsky turned Portman’s eyes red,
Nolan sculpts noise,
And Pixar loves toys,
But it’s Fincher who’s out far ahead.
The weight of dark wings is natural. (BlackSwan)
The scope of my quest is cerebral. (Inception)
To be with Andy my dream. (Toy Story 3)
Escape is my scheme. (127 Hours)
Creating a mind’s cathedral.
There once was a crazy pink bear
Who never learned out to play fair
He was named for his hugs
But pulled out lotso rugs
From under toys at the day care.
A movie is just like a dream,
or a toy less alive than it seems.
Though perhaps based on truth,
usually far more uncouth,
but it nonetheless powerfully gleams.
“Fin”s
In a year full of emotional ”fin”s
The boulder no longer pins
Like a child’s affection
Or a dancer’s perfection
The totem still stands and spins
damn, that was supposed to be “…learned how to play fair.”
oops.
James Franco was stuck by a rock.
His poor arm surely needed a doc.
He should’ve flagged someone down
From a nearby ghost town
By using his trademark thumb-cock.
Loose an Arm?
Cut it off to great alarm
Or else that ballerina will bite
It off with all of her might
In our dreams o’er Bo Peeps farm
Woody and Buzz were in a stream
They could not escape from the dream
Because Barbara stole the knob
They woke up away from Cobb
With James’s arm as their redeem
This contest could use a few more anti-Toy Story limericks. Maxim please take the stage.
What’s this contest’s deadline?
With dreams of ballet in her head
She went to a canyon instead
She took toys and a top
But lopped her arm off
And left us with feelings of dread
A canyon below us, a wasteland of dreams,
With nothing to see there, so it seems.
Yet look! there’s a dancer, dancing of joy,
Still dancing in her mind with her very first toy,
Until she awakens with new self-esteem.
Falling straight down a snowy peak
Perfection a dancer must seek
A man cuts himself loose
The toys reach the path they choose
Resulting in tears on one’s cheek
39-No, we don’t.
You’re really hard to date,
Took you from Sydney to LA,
Lotso hugs at the grand canyon,
But you’re not calling me companion.
Try seducing me for a change.
Christopher Nolan’s got balls
To show people running on walls
But all of that spinning
Is cinema sinning
Who cares if that stupid thing falls?
I’ll hold out for the free verse contest
Aron’s stressed with no knife in his slacks
Fischer’s dream security fact slipped through the cracks
Andy likes toy ’till he’s grown
which makes Armond White bemoan
And Nina REALLY needs to relax
There once was a toy who would dance
Who one night got trapped in a trance
Frolicking in the flowers
For what seemed like hours
He woke from the dream sans his pants
EDIT –
Aron’s stressed with no knife in his slacks
Fischer’s dream security fact slipped through the cracks
Andy likes toys ’till he’s grown
which makes Armond White bemoan
And Nina REALLY needs to relax
There’s something about Fischer, that is very fishy,
No, playing with them toys don’t make you a sissy,
the crazy swan queen
unlike the Silver Marion, came clean.
Grandma thinks you’re all pussies!