(UPDATE: While he’s good and fired up, Jeff takes the opportunity to slam the “effete critics” who don’t like “Biutiful” as “coming from a stifled and constipated place.”)
Hot dog eaters? Hey, you asked for more double entendres, though I’m guessing Jeff Wells doesn’t quite mean it that that way.
I’ve been a fan for many years of Hollywood Elsewhere’s energetic, unguarded and often unhinged Cannes coverage, even — no, especially — when I suspected I’d eventually disagree with him on the films, once I saw them. Actually being at the fest, however, affords me the chance to disagree with him both immediately and in person — as we did last night, on Abbas Kiarostami’s rapturous Competition standout “Certified Copy.” (More on that anon.) What I like about Wells is that he’ll cheerfully join you for a drink mere minutes after posting this:
Abbas Kiarostami’s Copie Conforme (a.k.a., Certified Copy) is what most hot-dog-eating humans on the planet earth would call a “dead movie” … However, if you’re a member in good standing of Film Dweeb Nation, a presumably human but possibly alien culture which tends to favor and in some cases worship the imaginations of sunlight found in anal cavities, you’ll stroll into the Orange press cafe just after the screening of Copie Conforme, like a certain British journalist did 20 or 25 minutes ago, and go “oh, I loved it!” I looked at this guy incredulously and said, “Hold up, let me get this straight. You didn’t like the Inarritu [i.e., Biutiful] but you liked Copie Conforme?”
I can’t imagine which journalist he’s talking about … any ideas?
Comments
13 responses to “Dweebs vs. Hot Dog Eaters”
So it was you?
The very same.
I said, “Guy Lodge loved it.” He said: “Guy Lodge? (Looks over at you in the press room) He lives on a cloud.”
That explains it. It’s very difficult to find hot-dog vendors in that neighborhood.
“on a cloud,” Guy? I always like to imagine you living on the shoulder of the Golden Else atop the Victory Column in Berlin.
Actually, Guy lived in a UFO above the land of South Africa. Maybe he transformed it into a cloud to seem more friendly to the humans. And if these anal cavities belong to Cartman, well, that explains a big Southpark mystery!
omg, I can’t believe you have actually hung out in person with Jeff Wells. That guy is a nutjob (who I read everyday of course.) I can’t even begin to imagine what he would be like in person. Obviously if you are the brunt of one of his tirades that can’t at all be a bad thing. Who cares if Wells thinks you are a hot-dog eating dweeb that likes to take long hot showers, his tastes in film pale in comparison to yours. Obviously I think everyone should play nice, but I can’t help but be entertained by this particular meltdown that has caused his fans (enemies?) to come out with sharpened knives. I would never join in but I enjoy reading the comments section on his blog at times like this, you wouldn’t believe how mean some people can get. (Which is another reason I love coming over here b/c the attitude is always genuinely positive which is a nice reprieve from ugly-land at Hollywood-Elsewhere.)
Someone should tell Wells it’s not the “Inarritu.” The man’s family name is Gonzalez Inarritu. (Gonzalez is his father’s name, Inarritu his mother’s). He should never be referred to as Inarritu; it’s just plain wrong.
Brilliant that he posted that. Even more brilliant that you posted it again. Sunlight found in anal cavities? I can’t…
Frankly, Wells is a generally a delight in person. But “lives on a cloud” is LOL-inducing.
This is so funny but I think Wells leans mainstream so I might like Certified Copy.
Wells must be a funny guy in real life, his blog is way too funny for him not to be.
I saw his post originally and suspected it might be you he was referring to. Wells is always a fun read; I especially loved his recent response to a poster calling Babel drab and awful:
“Babel was NOT drab and awful, you right-wing insect.”
Interesting that he’s a nice guy in real life.
If Jeff Wells wasn’t such a douche he wouldn’t have nearly as many fans. He’s just awesome.