Movieline takes on the Razzies with the Soily Awards

Posted by · 2:42 am · March 13th, 2012

I’ve complained before about the Razzie Awards, a goofy institution that long ago had the fun sapped out of it by its voters’ narrowness of focus and constant recycling of the same targets. This year’s awards, curiously shifted to April Fools’ Day, are a case in point: how many times do we need to keep beating up on the “Twilight” franchise when there are more egregious (not to mention original) offenders out there? As if to illustrate how devoid of inspiration the Razzies have become, they nominated the same five films for Worst Picture, Director, Screenplay and Ensemble. Spread the love loathing a little, people.

Evidently, I’m not the only one to feel this way. The folks at Movieline have decided to beat the Razzies at their own game with the inaugural Soily Awards, a self-described “attempt to reconcile the year’s highest-profile Hollywood misfires with their truly uninspired brethren.” 20 critics and journalists were polled, including yours truly, and while the resulting nominations aren’t quite as cutting as they could be, they at least make for more amusing reading than the Razzie list.

Movieline have hedged their bets a little by offering three separate top prizes of sorts: an overall Worst Picture award, the Shit-the-Bed Award for failed prestige fare and the Shart Prize for unpromising films that turned out even worse than their buzz. That “W.E.” doesn’t feature in any of these three categories is disappointing — it’s more worthy of ridicule than the functional third installment in the “Transformers” franchise — but clearly they’re still finding their way.

There are three overlaps, meanwhile, with the Oscar ballot: Best Picture nominees “War Horse” and “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” are both up for the Shit-the-Bed Award (though there’s at least one fellow Academy favorite I’d rather see there), while Glenn Close can add a final, not terribly flattering, mention to her list of accolades for “Albert Nobbs.”

Here’s the list:

Worst Picture of 2011
“Conan the Barbarian”
“Green Lantern”
“The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)”
“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”

Achievement in Bad Direction
Michael Bay, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon”
Dennis Dugan, “Jack and Jill”
Clint Eastwood, “J. Edgar”
David Gordon Green, “Your Highness” and “The Sitter”
Zack Snyder, “Sucker Punch” 

Achievement in Bad Acting
Russell Brand, “Arthur”
Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Taylor Lautner, “Abduction” and “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I”
Alex Pettyfer, “Beastly” and “I Am Number Four”
Adam Sandler, “Just Go With It” and “Jack and Jill”

Brown Paycheck Achievement in Bad Acting
(most lopsided ratio of salary to quality)
Bradley Cooper, “The Hangover Part II”
Harrison Ford, “Cowboys & Aliens”
Nicole Kidman, “Just Go With It”
Helen Mirren, “Arthur”
Natalie Portman, “Your Highness,” “No Strings Attached” and “Thor”

The Shart Prize
“Atlas Shrugged: Part I”
“Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star”
“Your Highness”

Shit-the-Bed Award
“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”
“The Iron Lady”
“J. Edgar”
“War Horse” 

Of the Worst Picture nominees, only “Green Lantern” made my ballot: I also submitted “W.E.,” “Brighton Rock,” “Incendies” and “The Last Circus.” And while I contributed to Glenn Close’s nomination, I also had hopes for Jim Broadbent, Freida Pinto, January Jones and Henry Hopper. Oh well.

More on the Movieline Soily Awards, as well as a reader vote, here.

For more views on movies, awards season and other pursuits, follow @GuyLodge on Twitter. 

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