Screenplay contest winner!

Posted by · 12:33 pm · January 14th, 2011

With well over 100 entries, the limerick contest was our most popular yet. Either people really dig amphibrachic meter or they really wanted those scripts! Whatever the case, thanks for the deluge.

It was tough to decide. In the way of honorable mention, I have to give a shout-out to Jim for the commitment to submit so many times, and for his limerick back-and-forth with BobBlake. Also, I have to tip my hat to Joe7827 for finding a way to insert yours truly into his out of competition entry.

And a pat on the back to John G for attempting to make “cunnilingus” rhyme with “anxious” and “frankness.”  You tried.

Ultimately, though, I had to tip my hat to SanFranCinema, who cleverly worked the season into his limerick. It doesn’t include aspects of the films’ narratives, of course, but it rang my bell…

Boyle filled viewers with dread,
Aronofsky turned Portman’s eyes red,
Nolan sculpts noise,
And Pixar loves toys,
But it’s Fincher who’s out far ahead.

So drop me a line, SanFranCinema, and I’ll have your prize in the mail soon. We’ll have another contest next week.

[Photo: Insight Editions]

→ 16 Comments Tags: , , , , | Filed in: Daily

16 responses so far

  • 1 1-14-2011 at 1:16 pm

    jack said...

    Wow. I know it’s your contest and your prize to award, but epic fail, Kris. “Jim” might have overdone it a bit, but he’s clearly got a gift. Every single one of his entries followed the rules to the letter, had PERFECT meter, and clever rhymes. Not just that, but he also referenced “the season” in #115, and it was in a better overall entry.

    No disrespect to SanFranCinema, congrats. But it’s pretty clear to anyone who read the rules and who understands limericks that Jim just got robbed, and HARD. :(

  • 2 1-14-2011 at 1:31 pm

    Maxim said...

    Jack, I thik there is something to be said for only having one concise entry.

    There is no denying Jim’s work though.

  • 3 1-14-2011 at 1:34 pm

    Andrej said...

    “Anxious cunnilingus”, lol.

    Congrats to the winner! ☺

  • 4 1-14-2011 at 1:43 pm

    San FranCinema said...

    Hey, I thought Jim was going to win, too. But I’m glad to get the nod from Mr. Tapley. Thanks.! I’m preparing my acceptance speech, complete with a reference to Meryl Streep’s kissing skills.

  • 5 1-14-2011 at 2:02 pm

    San FranCinema said...

    Kris, the “drop me a line” link above is broken, so I’m emailing you through the “contact” link on the top menu.

  • 6 1-14-2011 at 2:13 pm

    Kristopher Tapley said...

    jack: Given the frivolity of the contest and the idea that, hey, I’m GIVING STUFF AWAY, I’d say your words are a bit strong. But I nevertheless agree Jim deserves something, so twist my arm, he gets a consolation prize. One of his entries (#103) was vying for the win anyway, so get in touch with me, Jim (the email link is fixed) and I’ll get you your prize.

  • 7 1-14-2011 at 4:04 pm

    jack said...


    Sorry if I came off disrespectful to you or SanFran, I genuinely didn’t mean to. You’re absolutely right. It’s your contest to run however you see fit, and SFC’s entry was way solid. I just thought Jim absolutely nailed it every at-bat using every criteria you laid out.

    I guess maybe it’s just that I’m subbing while I wait for a full-time English-teacher job, and I know you can’t even TEACH perfect meter. It’s a rare you-have-it-or-you-don’t skill, and it’s pretty obvious when it’s really, really in there.

    No hard feelings?

  • 8 1-14-2011 at 4:58 pm

    John G said...

    Thanks for the pat on the back sir, all I could have hoped for given the absurdity of the rhyme (requires a certain accent, I’ll admit).

    I also didn’t realize that Kanye West went by the name “jack.”

    Congratulations to the winner.

  • 9 1-14-2011 at 8:38 pm

    Wendy said...

    I think Kris picked the safer and friendlier entry that paid tribute to the director’s showcase. Jim’s use of words (e.g. “My Woody tucked deep in my crack”, ““I’ve got a NEW Woody,” said Andy”) is a bit risque, offensive and not to everyone’s taste. It’s almost like the race between Crash and Brokeback Mountain. Crash (family friendly, appeals to general public) vs Brokeback Mountain (taboo subject, risky option). Jim’s entry may appeal to people with quirky tastes and sense of humor whereas SanFranCinema’s entry is the safer choice more suited to AMPAS’ taste. That’s how I see it – just my 2 cents.

  • 10 1-14-2011 at 11:52 pm

    jack said...

    That’s interesting, Wendy. I didn’t know they let Nuns on the internet. Where was the rule that the entries had to be rated G? I always thought traditional limericks were SUPPOSED to be kind of filthy, anyway.

  • 11 1-15-2011 at 11:53 am

    Keil Shults said...

    I should have made a limerick devoted to Olivia Williams, if ringing your bell was the unofficial criteria. Either way, poetry contests are fun, and I hope to see more in the future.

  • 12 1-15-2011 at 12:03 pm

    Maxim said...

    Wendy, your take on “Crash” is way off.

  • 13 1-15-2011 at 12:19 pm

    Kristopher Tapley said...

    It’s unfortunate that virtually every fucking thread lately has to devolve into some kind of antagonism.

  • 14 1-15-2011 at 3:50 pm

    Keil Shults said...

    occupational hazard

    sadly, cinephiles are a largely bitter and pessimistic lot

    i suggest creating a separate site for crochet enthusiasts to buoy your spirits

  • 15 1-15-2011 at 4:03 pm

    Kristopher Tapley said...

    No, I’ll just hold out for adults to carry on in this space. I have hope.

  • 16 1-15-2011 at 5:28 pm

    Keil Shults said...

    oh snap