Best review ever

Posted by · 9:49 am · June 19th, 2009

ThiefI put in Michael Mann’s “Thief” for the first time in a few years last night.  Partly preparation for an upcoming installment of The Lists, partly just general Mann-watching in the wake of this week’s “Public Enemies” screening.  Anyway, I did some searching on the net, poking in the usual corners while watching the flick, and I stumbled across this IMDb user review that just cracks me up.  I would insert a paragraph break, but the run-on nature of the thing wouldn’t come across right.

Here it is in full:

Saw this in the theater at it’s release. Went back the next weekend and scenes were cut. They remain cut in every version I’ve seen since. Frank snaps chalk lines off traces of blueprints onto the safe face in the opening heist. Guess the crime commission didn’t dig that, ’cause that 5 seconds is history in every cut I’ve seen since. How do the boys and their gear get up on the roof of the bank building? Rocket assisted grappling hook mortars firing mountain lines and Jumar ascenders from the parking lot. You won’t see that scene anymore, either. Man, I miss the Corned Beefs at the Belden Deli on Clark where Frank hands the stones to Gags. Long gone. But if you are in Chicago, stop in early at the Green Mill and you might be able to have a drink in that big, round wood booth – still there. Great gun & car flick. Frank’s .45 looks like a Bomar Svenson custom combat, tremendous. Watch for the High Standard 12 guage stakeout special at the end – very rare. Take a drive up north on Western Avenue to check out all the used car lots – still there. Great locations. Yup, the creme was ALWAYS cottage cheese at the old Oasis restuarants. Yuch! You know – Tuesday Weld actually even ACTS a little in this movie, amazing. Man that was a gorgeous house in my old neighborhood and yes they blew it up. Notice when they are snuggling on the outdoor patio – it had a two-sided fireplace – indoor and outdoor. Probably the best Chicago movie ever. The phone book and trash can – time honored tools of the early 80’s. When I saw it opening night the theater was filled with every crook and detective on the north side with their wives. And everybody just nodded to each other on the way out. Those days are gone but not forgotten. Great, great flick. Cool TD soundtrack album, too. Also probably the best metallurgical movie ever. I want Frank’s coat.

As for the film itself, boy does it hold up. The heavy stylization you would expect to date it in fact makes it eerily timeless. Caan is, of course, brilliant. His best performance ever. Robert Prosky is devilishly good. All the actors spit Mann’s biting dialogue out with confident authority. And that final scene still stands as one of the greatest movie endings ever. (Wish I had remembered it last year.)

Here is the diner monologue, what Caan reportedly considers his proudest on-screen moment:

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3 responses so far

  • 1 6-19-2009 at 10:01 am

    P-Dawg said...

    What can I say? The man knows what he likes and what he doesn’t. He may not know the difference between a movie review and a rambling stream of consciousness, but hey, he’s fuckin’ Chicago through and through.

  • 2 6-19-2009 at 11:01 am

    aaron said...

    oh snap, tangerine dream scored this? i’m in. mann is the man and i love every film of his i’ve seen, but sometimes his dialogue sort of kills me inside. and not in a good way. it’s just a little too on the nose sometimes.

  • 3 6-19-2009 at 12:43 pm

    Elrocho said...

    Brilliant. Personally, Mann’s best film. The Last of the Mohicans comes in a very close second.